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I paid about as much attention to Steve telling me about Omis as he pays me when I call out a check list in advance of a trip or shopping expedition.  I heard ‘National Park’ and ‘Bird Watching’.  That was all. so I packed a bikini, sun tan lotion, books, made sure my phone was charged, checked there was a download or two on Netflix and forgot to put a sun lounger in the back of the car. No way was I going to bored whilst he was twitching.

We left around 11ish and instead of turning left towards Split we turned right towards Dubrovnik aiming for Omis, 18km away (just over 10 miles).  On this journey for a change the picture postcard views of the mountains were to our left, the road was parallel to the picture postcard coast on our right and there were no large supermarkets or shopping malls to check off our route as there weren’t any.

Our first landmark, after turning right at the traffic lights, was the line of drinks huts along a beach frontage which we can see from our beach, walk to along the road or take ‘Teddy’ from our beach, and the second was Le Meridien which we had already visited with ‘Teddy’ for a trial booze cruise soon after we had arrived.

Along the route to our right were beautiful colourful beaches, jetties, marinas, moorings and some very serious boats and yachts.  I didn’t spot any vessels in the Adriatic and Brac Island was visible our entire route.

Having arrived in Omis, at the entrance to a car park trying to work out how to get a ticket, a friendly Croatian pulled up beside the Poacher and told us the car parking was free.  Croatians are all so friendly and helpful. The car park was right by Omis Bridge, the Cetina river and gorge (with a navigational length of 7km) with the Adriatic the other side. Walking along the Adriatic side of the quay, passing a catamaran the owner stepped out in front of us and asked if we would like a trip up the Cetina River which was exactly what Steve had planned to do. The penny took a while to drop for me to release the whole idea of bird watching was to take a boat up the Cetina which went through the National Park.  We didn’t actually have to set up a bird watch camp anywhere. My day got better immediately as I just love boat trips.  Steve and I are often in the right place at the right time and the ‘skipper’ suggested we meet him back at his mooring at 2pm. We checked the price with him. Deal done!

Off we toddled for bite to eat, not having had breakfast, with beautiful views of the river one side of the bridge, and the Adriatic the other.  We had one of the best pizzas ever, with beer and coffee.  We knew we were out of Split as the bill was under £8 for the two of us.  Having filled our tummies we strolled around the old town, again taking pictures of beautiful, but empty narrow streets and the Fortress Mirabella (Peovica).  It was build in the XIII century and apparently was a reliable hideout for the Omis pirates who used to retreat into the safety of the Cetina gorge; exactly the route we were going to take. Below are various images of the Fortress if you can spot it.

Arriving at the Catamaran, we were slightly concerned we were the wrong side of the bridge.  However, Skipper, who we found out to be called George, brought out his boat for this trip which didn’t have a canopy or tall masts to negotiate under the bridge. Having visited the Blue Lagoon at the Isle of Capri we knew the drill.  Close to the bridge, we got off out seats down on to the deck to be as low as possible and held our breath whilst we passed under the bridge with very few centimetres to spare and no decapitations.  We were excited about our trip, we giggled and as we were the only two passengers on board with George there was no need to wear our masks.  The price was 300 Kunars for about one hour 20 minutes and he told us there was no obligation to pay at the end of the trip if we were in any way disappointed.  That’s about £34 for Steve, me and Stella for a private charter.  The boat smelled of fresh paint.  I suppose everyone has time on their hands for refurbishments with the absence of tourists and dealing with boredom.

Up the river we went, the water was shallow and clear in places.  George called out Torti, Toriti, we looked to our left and saw a turtle on a bough just above the water line.  Then we saw loads of fish in the water, at least half a metre long – or now we are out of the EU over a foot long –  plus a river snake; apparently not poisonous, but there are poisonous snakes in the river. Our Nikon 5300, Sony cybershop and my Galaxy A51 all had their clocks synchronised and we continued spapping away.

George suggested we stop off at the Radmanove Mills – http://www.radmanove-mlinice.hr/index.php/en/radman-s-mills – so we did leaving Stella in charge of the boat.  Our breaths were taken away with this huge beautiful restaurant complex, usually packed out with tourists, set in the middle of a forest with birdsong and an alcohol licence. Utopia!  I spoke with George, he told me he’s 57, been divorced for 10 years, has a son of 27 who has qualified to be a lawyer with no intention of being any part of the tourist industry.  He sighed and shook his head. He continued to tell me he had a girlfriend ten years younger than he is who worked in a care home.  Obviously I told him how convenient it was she was doing her training for his old age.  We laughed, we bonded, he was delighted to have customers and we were delighted to have him all to ourselves giving us narrative up and back down the river.

When we returned to the bridge two hours later, the river had risen a little, we all sat at the bow of the boat to even the horizontal height and just about made it through.  None of us had any doubt we wouldn’t make it.

Returning to his catamaran, mooring up, Steve settled the bill with a little thank you on top.  George wanted our address at Stobreč Campsite as he wanted to drop off a bottle of his red wine.  We don’t know whether to assume he has his own vineyard, but are optimistic.

We drove back, with a detour up a mountain for highest spectacular views. Unfortunately, despite our many cameras and enthusiasm we failed to capture the splendour.